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Sending Matt Southall an e-mail? He’ll charge you a grand to read it!

As our first full week draws to a close we would like to share our joy at receiving from our friends at Rochdale a link to the most preposterous website we’ve come across on this long trail (and believe us, we’ve come across a few) – a site for Sports Media Consultancy Ltd., a company Matt Southall founded in 2019, and is already in the process of being struck off. What could possibly have gone wrong with this exciting consultancy venture? (which by the way should not be confused with a Dutch consultancy of almost the same name, which has been in business for 25 years).

Well, consultancies are all about the human resource, and Matt seems a bit short-handed here. There is our old friend Sean McHugh, briefly in control of the Charlton bank account when ESI first took over (see our Minor Characters page) He is not keen on having photos taken, it seems, that one is the only one we can find on the web, and is a crop. Things get worse when we inspect high-rolling “fund manager” Chris Harper. That photo is a general stock image, and we can find nobody of that name who meets the profile. But Matt still has his loyal assistant Samantha to post up all the news, so that’s something. Continuity, they call it, very strong.

Then in an unusual attempt at transparency, under “Terms” Matt has set out his fees in great detail. This seems a little premature, as even the biggest consultancies tend to want to agree a fee package after detailed discussions with a client; but we suppose that Matt has come across the old Stella ads with the strapline “Reassuringly expensive”, and thinks this will reassure clients. Sadly we are not so sure about that. Take a look at this little package

Consultancies are chosen for their previous experiences, especially successful ones. What case studies does Matt offer his prospective clients? Well actually, only “successes” related to his 3 months at Charlton, and he has an interesting take on them. Firstly we learn that his consultancy “advised on the £50 million acquisition of Charlton Athletic Football Club by East Street Investments.” (including actually paying only £1 of course); then that so impressed were his “clients” with that advice that they appointed him Executive Chairman of Charlton. Finally having been kicked out of Charlton “Sports Media Consultancy successfully advised key stakeholders in the sale of Charlton Athletic Football Club to Danish businessman, Thomas Sandgaard.” We are sure that Matty will have received Thomas’ permission to use that image, implying as it does that Thomas himself was one of the “key stakeholders”. “Consultancy that Delivers” it says here..

Convinced? Want to give Matt a big M&A assignment? Well it looks like it won’t be through this company, and indeed by the time you read this, the website itself may no longer be available; but don’t worry, we have pdfs to post up if necessary. The world should not be deprived of the chance to appreciate this example of weapons-grade self-delusion. As Matt exhorts us all:




Enjoy the weekend football, everybody!